Dragging your feet on healthier habits? Try this motivation hack.
Do you have all these healthy habits that you want to start - but ya just never actually start ‘em?
You’re always like, I just gotta wait a bit… until I have more time. Maybe next week. I’ll figure this out later.
But then… you never quite get around to it!
Well if you want to STOP pushing off all these great changes that you know deep down will improve your health and help you get through this chapter of motherhood a bit easier, keep reading.
We’re going to talk about why this procrastination happens, and how to become that woman who just does the damn thing, makes the change - and feels so much better for it!
Okay so let’s say you've been thinking about a healthy habit you could start, a change in your behavior that you should make. For example:
Meal planning / prepping so you're not winging it all week.
Cooking at home more.
Getting more exercise.
Cutting back on the sugar.
Going to the doctor.
Ditching the late night scrolling in favor of getting more sleep.
But as much as you want to, as much as you know it would be good for you, for some reason you struggle to get started! Why does this happen to us?!
This is a great question for a Health Coach like myself who understands the science of behavior change, and all that really goes into creating your ideal healthy lifestyle.
So why don’t you start the habits you want to have? Well, it’s a bit of a paradox: even though the new habit or change would be good for you, it's the process of changing itself that does NOT feel very great.
The process of changing is adding a new source of stress or just general discomfort in your life. And as busy and tired moms, it’s like the last thing we want is more stress and discomfort right? We’re looking for the exact opposite!
So let’s take eating less sugar, for example.
It sounds relatively straightforward - Eat. Less. Sugar.
But it’s the process of making that change that's actually not as simple:
Realizing it's not just candy that has lots of sugar (why does everything have sugar in it nowadays??)
Planning out what snacks or ingredients you’ll choose instead
Navigating the grocery store and going into different aisles now
Dealing with cravings - when the mood strikes and you want that sugary thing, what now?
Saying no to those donuts at work as they sit there and torture you!
Seeing everyone else around you continuing to eat all of the sugar (*so jealous*)
Having to explore new ways to“treat” ourselves or cope with stress (if reaching for that sugary thing was your go-to!)
Before you even consciously realize what's happening, your brain is anticipating the discomfort of all of this change! It’s seeing all the flashing lights and saying, this is gonna SUUUUCK.
And before you know it, you delay. You push your new habit til next week. You wait until you're "more ready."
This is actually a very common and NORMAL block to go through.
Changing our behavior and adding in new healthy habits - eating better, exercising more, getting more sleep, reducing stress - it’s not quite as simple as turning a switch from Off to On.
It’s a gradual process with different stages.
So while waiting may *temporarily* resolve the anxiety you're feeling... it hasn't actually done anything to help you move forward with the healthy change you do want to make for yourself.
And that’s what I want to help you with now.
I want to introduce you to a little exercise to do…
It’s super simple. You can literally do it on a piece of scrap paper or in the Notes app on your phone.
So think of a change to your behavior or a new habit that you’ve been wanting to start.
And now, I invite you to make a Pros & Cons list.
You’re like seriously, a pros and cons list, that’s it? YES! Stick with me here.
Your "pros" are going to be all the good things about making that change or starting the habit. And your "cons" are all of your reasons NOT to do it! Not to move forward. To just keep going on as is and not deal with any of this.
You might be thinking, wow that sounds like a terrible idea, won’t I basically convince myself not to do it?
Here’s the thing - whether you consciously realize it or not, all of those cons are exactly what's already stopping you!
Dr. James Prochaska, one of the top psychologists and behavior change experts, puts it like this:
“Consciousness raising is an important and essential element in the change process. In fact, almost all major therapies begin by trying to raise your level of awareness about your problems, and solutions to your problems. Raise your consciousness of how you defend yourself against, or resist, change. [Our] defenses are designed to help us fool ourselves. We are intentionally trying to help you change your mind.”
So we want to get everything - even the reasons not to change - out of your head and down on paper so you can see it in plain view (this is especially great if you’re a visual learner).
So I’m going to share a hypothetical example of this:
Let’s say your week is BUSY. Work, extracurriculars, homework - there’s just always a lot going on. And you've found yourself leaning on those fast food drive-throughs more and more. Like, they know your name in the Chick-Fil-A line!
But lately you haven’t been feeling great… especially not after you eat this way. And you think to yourself, "I really gotta get out of this cycle and try to cook at home more. I should look into some healthier meals to cook at home."
But weeks go by, and you still have yet to look into it! And then you see this video and you’re like hm, okay let’s try this Pros and Cons thing. And here’s what you come up with.
PROS:
eating healthier food
avoiding unhealthy food
not feeling like crap after dinner
CONS:
Well, i’d have to add another thing to my already long to-do list
I’d have to put more work and effort into meals
I’d have to do dishes more
I’d have to find new healthy recipes to try out
The kids probably wouldn’t like anything i’d make
I’d miss those Chick-Fil-A fries too much…
This seems like a likely Pros and Cons list for this hypothetical situation, right?
And since you took the time to get this out of your head, you can now visually see: you have lots more cons than you do pros! You have more reasons to just avoid this change and move on with your life.
Whether you realize it or not, these reasons are all kinda cycling through your mind and keeping you from making this change. And right now, there’s just not enough power to propel you forward through that anticipated discomfort your brain is seeing.
Research shows that we'll be way more likely to move forward when our list of pros is much longer than our list of cons. Our friend Dr. Prochaska says,
“Your pros of changing must increase. If your pros are not increasing, you are not progressing - which means you are not changing. The more we weigh the pros, the more possible and desirable change seems... it helps you dramatically increase your motivation as you discover the benefits that are important to you. When we get to the point where the positives outweigh the negatives, we're on the road to action... you become more confident and convinced that the pros of changing outweigh the cons. We grow more certain that our decision was the right one for personal happiness and well-being."
So how do we do this? How do we greatly increase our pros, so they outweigh our cons?
Well, it takes some reflection - about what is important to us. What do we want? I might say I want to stop eating so much fast food, but WHY? WHY do I want to feel better? What am I trying to accomplish here?
We want to come up with as many reasons as possible as to why making this change would be worth our time, worth our effort, worth any discomfort. And maybe even worth a financial investment.
Here are some questions to review when you need help adding more pros to your list:
How could this change improve my health?
How could this change improve my day-to-day?
How could my experience of motherhood improve?
Would my appearance change?
How might my work performance improve?
How might my kids or my relationship benefit?
What is this change helping me avoid?
What are the costs of not changing - on my life, health, relationships, motherhood journey?
IMPORTANT TIP: Don't worry about HOW you'll make this happen yet. Right now, simply focus on WHY to make it happen.
So let's say you sat on this for a bit. You took some time to reflect. Maybe you even did a little bit of research on fast food, and the health benefits of minimizing some of this stuff. And here’s what you come up with:
CONS:
Well, i’d have to add another thing to my already long to-do list
I’d have to put more work and effort into meals
I’d have to do dishes more
I’d have to find new healthy recipes to try out
The kids probably wouldn’t like anything i’d make
I’d miss those Chick-Fil-A fries too much…
PROS:
eating healthier food
avoiding unhealthy food
not feeling like crap after dinner
Giving my digestive system a break
Better control over the ingredients I’m using for my food (avoiding all those seed oils used in restaurants!)
Better control over my portion sizes
Falling asleep easier and getting a better night’s sleep
I’ll start the next day with more energy, feeling better and healthier
Healthier diet means better health, less risk of disease, better control over my weight
No my kids may not enjoy eating the veggies at first, but this is a chance for me to involve them, model healthy eating, model cooking for themselves, so it’s a habit they’ll grow up with
Making healthy choices like this in general makes me feel responsible and proactive about my and my family’s health
I’m making better choices and I won’t have to worry so much about how bad I’m feeling and where my health is heading. Some of that pressure and anxiety can be lifted.
I’ll start better about myself and my choices, like I can actually make this healthy lifestyle thing work.
How much more motivating is the idea of making more healthy meals at home starting to feel??
So here we just turned a simple Pros and Cons exercise into something that’s not only been pretty revealing, but re-energizing!
2 last quick thoughts:
Remember that everyone is motivated by different things! You could take this same example for yourself and have completely different pros and cons than I just laid out. So it doesn't really matter what I or anyone else think considers to be a pro... when you do this exercise yourself, you want to really tap into what fuels YOU specifically.
If you're having a hard time coming up with more "pros", it doesn't automatically mean the action isn't worth doing. It may simply reveal that you need further exploration, reflection, or research... or even a different strategy that would work better for you.
At the end of the day, here’s what I hope you'll take away from this: if you want to stop hiding from your healthy habits, maybe you just need more reasons NOT to!
Here for you, Mom.
If you’re in a place where you could really use more personalized support, I encourage you to check out my Healthy Mom Kickstarter 3-month coaching program. I offer free consultation calls to see if it’s the right fit!
