The TRUTH about improving our health & habits in motherhood
As a Health Coach for moms AND a mom who’s been through a lot with my own health, I want to start off this blog by assuring you that even in this chapter of early-ish motherhood where you’re feeling heavier, you’re feeling more tired, you’re feeling busier, you’ve got one or more young kiddos to take care of, you can still:
set really great goals and have healthy, sustainable, habits
improve your physical & mental health - I’m talking losing the stubborn weight, stopping all of the pesky symptoms, have more energy and vitality and control
and get to a place where you feel like an even better version of yourself and better mom, too
And here’s the best part - you DON’T have to count calories, or have the daily discipline of an Olympian or supermodel to get there!
Today, I want to talk about what it takes for us moms to stop feeling like crap, stop our health from worsening, and feel healthier and more in control again (and it’s likely not what you think, so be sure to keep reading for a different take on this).
Becoming a mom changes so much, and often one of the hardest hit areas is our health.
If this happened to you too, I want you to know that you are definitely NOT alone. It is NOT just you. And you are not broken.
And you’re in the right place.
In the years after becoming a mom, my own physical and mental health plummeted. Which is why this is not just another blog on the internet offering you lower calorie meals, or the 3 best workouts to try, or the motivational speech that’s going to finally generate the discipline that you’ve just been missing this entire time.
Because none of those things got me from my own worsening health, to today - feeling like this healthy, wise, and ambitious version of myself.
Health - especially in this stage of life and in motherhood - is so much more than:
counting our calories
doing a harder workout
and just trying harder to follow all the rules
I want you to picture a puzzle in front of you…
it’s like we’re trying to build this puzzle… and we get stuck in this one part. So we keep going back and checking the same old pieces over and over, trying to like, still fit them in, and it’s not working. We’re not making progress. We’re getting frustrated - like, am I going crazy? Why can’t I finish this damn puzzle. What is wrong with me?
But what we didn’t realize this entire time… is that we’re actually missing a bunch of pieces! They accidentally got knocked off the table. Or they a little buried under something. But we don’t know that… and so we keep trying the same pieces that we see, over and over, hoping it’s going to all work out.
But it doesn’t matter how hard we force the same pieces in. They just don’t fit. They’re not the pieces we need in this particular moment. We need those other hidden pieces to the puzzle so we can keep moving forward and building out the full picture.
It’s my mission to help more moms find their missing puzzle pieces - to finally be working with ALL of the pieces, so they can see the full picture of their health and get to that ideal vision they have for themselves.
So how does this present itself in real life?
Well, when we first set out to build the puzzle of our lives, most of us kinda glossed over the “health” part right? We focused mostly on our educations, starting our careers, figuring out where we were gonna live, our relationships, starting a family. Having some fun along the way!
What we weren’t necessarily doing was intentionally learning and planning around our health.
And I’m not saying we didn’t want to be healthy right? We knew we had to try not to eat so much, we knew the sweets weren’t ideal, we’d try to exercise when we could. But we didn’t totally realize that being sort of, one foot in, one foot out with our health wouldn’t actually work long-term. I mean… talk about one foot in one foot out, I spent all of my twenties priding myself on the fact that I could eat all the Big Macs, eat Lucky Charms for dinner, work out a little here and there and be relatively okay! Yea, that didn’t last.
We weren’t aware what was going to happen once we had more years and more choices under our belts. Once we hit our thirties and forties. And we definitely didn’t know what was going to happen after we grew and birthed one or more human beings from our bodies, and had to learn how to keep them alive and well!
So then what happened? Well, in the years after becoming a mom, so many of us feel our physical or mental health starting to struggle: the stubborn weight, the fatigue, the stress, the anxiety. New symptoms come and then they feel like they’re get worse, rather than better (you know, the headaches, brain fog, trouble with energy, trouble losing weight, bloating, constipation, seeming to get sick a lot).
And then we start to feel the ripple effects of this into other areas of our lives: keeping up with the demands of motherhood, being a present parent, trying to keep up at work, our relationship - juggling all of that starts feeling harder to do, because we’re tired! We’re dragging. And our confidence and self-esteem take a hit, too, as we spend more time picking out our clothes because nothing is fitting quite right anymore.
But the thing is, we’re not even quite sure what’s causing all of this. It’s like a leak that’s slowly letting air out, but we can’t seem to find where the hole is. We wonder, Where do I focus my already limited time and energy. Is it my lack of discipline - like am I just not trying hard enough? Is it my habits? Is it some health issue? Or is it just the reality of motherhood and aging?
Can you relate, Mom?
Oof, I’ve been through this! I know what it feels like. It’s frustrating, and confusing, and lonely. But here’s what I want you to understand about worsening health in these early years of motherhood:
This is a sign to take a step back and REGROUP.
All of this exhaustion, the heaviness, the stress, the dysfunction, the breaking down — our bodies are talking to us. I mean, for some of us they’re yelling (I know my body was screaming at me). Our bodies are pleading with us to change course. And all of the symptoms and stubborn weight and stress and tiredness - they are like those road signs that say “wrong way!” and trying to get you to turn around.
What does it look like to change course?
Well, you can’t actually change course until you know where it is you’re trying to go. And so the goal of taking a step back and regrouping is to gain clarity about what’s really going on with your health. To find the leak. To find those missing puzzle pieces.
What clarity does is it takes us from always in a state of I just need to work harder - harder at my dieting, harder at my workout, harder at my discipline - and it shifts us to, how can I work SMARTER?
And this is how I help my health coaching clients…
who are moms just like you, who feel their health worsening and want to change course. We primarily focus on gaining clarity and working smarter through:
understanding your current health status (because listen - your body & mind are complex systems that have real needs. And the common issues that women struggle with - imbalanced hormones, chronic disease (and pre-disease), insulin resistance, nutrient deficiencies, autoimmunity - these are all signs that certain needs are not being met. And when your body’s needs aren’t being met, it starts to dysfunction - and the ways in which it dysfunctions depends on you, your circumstances, your genes. So you need to take the time to understand what your body is currently dealing with, so you can narrow your focus on giving it what it needs to function better)
unlearning old beliefs that you may not realize have been holding you back, and making room for new beliefs and a new mindset that will make your health and healthy lifestyle work. What do I mean by this: well, if you believe deep down that good moms are nurturing, selfless, and put their kids first, or that your self-care is somehow selfish, or that poorer physical/mental health is kinda normal as you age, or that your slowing down or needing help shows you’re weak… these beliefs that we may have learned growing up or along the way, have a real impact on the choices we make and make consistently. So we gotta start becoming more aware of any thoughts that may have been holding you back, and it may require choosing new beliefs moving forward.
getting clear on where exactly you’re trying to go. What does living a health lifestyle MEAN to you? What does your ideal version of motherhood actually LOOK like? How do you want to parent your kids, and what do you want THEM to learn about health and choices and life, what do you want to model to your daughter about being a woman and being a mom? What do you want to do for work, how do you want to contribute to this world? What about your relationships and experiences? ALL of this plays a role in what Health and well-being means for us.
learning how to make an Action Plan and set goals that actually make sense for you specifically. It’s all incredibly tailored to your specific situation, where you are today and where you’re trying to go.
equipping yourself with real, evidence-based tools & strategies that help you take action that’s going to feel more manageable and sustainable and motivating to you
rallying the type of support and resources you’ve been missing
This ^ ^ is a much different approach to “health” than many of us are used to. It’s deeper. It’s wider, more holistic. It’s more strategic.
But it’s an approach that can help you change course, and break free of this cycle of worsening health. So that you can feel better, feel more in control, and potentially even surpass where you were before (which happened to me!)
Why does it do this? Because whereas before health was this thing we sort of glossed over, only really thought about when we had time, and now in this busy stage of motherhood just feels like this burdensome set of tasks that we’re too exhausted to get to…
and turns our health into the connective tissue that touches and binds together everything we care about:
Our kids: parenting, and giving them a loving and fun childhood
Our work: making an income, progressing our career, passion projects, or volunteer work and contributing to the community
Our relationships: with our spouse, our family, our friends.
Our experiences: traveling, having fun, enjoying ourselves once in a while!
Now, what if I asked you this, Mom:
Do you think if you felt so much better physically and mentally, you could feel maybe more energetic and present and engaged with your kids? Or what about role modeling choices and habits you hope they’d have one day? Do you think if you felt so much better physically and mentally, you’d maybe have the energy or the capacity to reach new heights in your career, or seize opportunities that you may not have otherwise? Do you think if you felt so much better physically and mentally, your relationships might improve? How about the types of experiences?
It’s like the saying, “A rising tide lifts all boats” - the rising tide here is your health. As your health rises, it also lifts all other areas of your life with it.
And so this approach of working smarter…
understanding your current health status
checking your beliefs and mindset
getting clear on where you’re trying to go
learning how to make an Action Plan and set goals
equipping yourself with tools & strategies
Rallying support and resources
… little by little this weaves your health into all other areas of your life, and connects it all. It creates the energy of a rising tide, where everything is going to work more in tandem and lift together.
Connecting all of these dots and living this way - THIS is where health truly and sustainably happens, Mom!
And I believe that more women — especially moms — need more support to begin approaching their health in this way.
Because we were basically taught to count our calories, and work out when we could. And if this didn’t work then we feel broken or like failures. We turn to quick fixes. We distract ourselves from that failure with substances or social media. And we continue to stay stuck in this cycle.
We were not taught how to work smarter for our health.
And so I want you to know that it’s not your fault, Mom. You’re not broken, and you’re not a failure.
But it IS your responsibility to change course. And I want to help you do that, because navigating my own challenging health journey in the midst of early motherhood was absolutely one of the hardest times of my life.
BUT… my worsening health kind of became the catalyst for a much-needed evolution in the way I approached my life, my choices, and motherhood itself. It forced me to, sort of, level up. To learn about what health actually means, and how to start rebuilding my life in a way that would better support this process and be able to sustain it for longer than a week. So that I could show up for my kids, show up for my work, show up for my marriage, and show up for my future self too, who’s counting on the me today to care about her.
I would not be the person and the mom I am today without having had to navigate this. I want this for you too, Mom.
I know you’re struggling, but this isn’t forever. I BELIEVE you can get through this, and come out the other side even stronger.
Here for you, Mom.
If you’re in a place where you could really use more personalized support, I encourage you to check out my Healthy Mom Kickstarter 3-month coaching program. I offer free consultation calls to see if it’s the right fit!
